I realized that learning is all about oneself. Not about connecting to God, or connecting to others. Or at least that is what my epiphany told me of. It made me feeling quite melancholic thinking that hrmm, where does all the 'till death do us part, what are friends for" thingy kind of chants go to?
It is confounding for me to witness how certain people who claim to have teacher-like qualities are the ones who actually deviate the farthest. Instead, I see a number of 'outcasted' people, branded as 'disgrace' and 'injustice' who actually fit the bill much more significantly and most importantly, HUMANELY than those who seem to be putting up the innocence persona.
Today, I received the offer letter from the ELS company and was confused over the terms which state that the scholarship is for 12 months and that the amount is RM4,500 over the scholarship duration. Pardon my math, but doesn't it feel that I am getting less than RM500 per month? And what the heck is 12 months? Internship or slavery? I rang the company asking for clarification and they forwarded the matter to the person-in-charge and unforbloodytunately, the reply is yet to be received. I've had it with ELS. Tomorrow is the last day, where I shall give my ultimatum.
Coming back to the topic, hell yes I deliberated on the true meaning of being outside the box, and it occured to me that some people do not even give a damn about either process or result - they were there because they were there. Lamenting on the process and grieving over the result put me hanging between the sky and the earth, perplexed by the uncertainness of their course of action.
This reminds me greatly of what Pn. Normaliza, a counselor invited for the seminar talked of. Of PASSIVITY and whatnot. And it struck me into the realization that sometimes, passive people can be active in their own right. Passive people who blend in with just about anyone, and entertain and woo the crowd with their silent charm that kills. On the other hand, we have those so-called ACTIVE people who claim to be downright active when situation calls, they simply back away and CITE tens of thousands of reasons just to not get involved. Passivity to me, works better and in a more positive tone each time - avoiding conflict, preventing distasteful, and tending the hearts.
The ONE thing I really could not quite fathom is that how can a self-proclaimed teacher-to-be with passion (so to speak) be so selfish that it stinks? It baffles me into thinking how a hand that should be extended to the ones who need is instead contracted and contorted of. Hence we come to the topic of this post.
HOW DO YOU DEFINE LEARNING?
Do you define it measurable to your own ability to understand?
In other words, do you learn just for yourself?
To each, his own, they say.
I can hardly crack to laughter these days.
Vain and may be self-fulling to say this, but I appreciate learning better when it is shared. You can imagine how surprised I am when things such as 'cooperative learning' and 'grouping' remain only laughing stocks.
It all comes down to the saying 'sharing is caring'. You share because you care. When you don't, well, need I say more?
Learning is most sweet when what we know of we share of and not keep it to ourselves.
And people deem you as 'candles' who burn itself for the sake of enlightening the massive darkness.
You're a brief candle indeed. Forsaken and forgotten.