Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Welcome back.

Ah yes. The phrase I often utter honestly and yet is always received jokingly. Months in hiatus - almost 4 to be exact, it rings a bell on me that I seriously need to pick up blogging again. After almost 2 years of teaching English in this center, it dawns on me that to teach Writing to the bunch is futile; and me resisting the fact is more futile. It is almost a joke to think that hard work and perseverance would win in such circumstance; needless to say, slowly but surely I am beginning to rest on the armchair, critisizing in a more, if not the most subtle way of their barely recognized 'essays' - otherwise known as regurgitation of the bits and pieces - or better yet, of garggling and spitting out the bare essence.

I am aspired to feel, be, act and behave like water.

Said my inner self.

Folly is an understatement to describe my firing up of wanting the better, if not the best out of them, only to get fired back. I realise, after a series of heated, nonsensical, pointless unfortunate events that fire breeds only fire. Of angst, frustration and disappointment - of being called narcissistically hard-headed. Of the ironic of being told that I am condescending in a condescending manner. Of being labelled, somehow or rather, a liar - a maker of 'stories'. Of being distrusted. Of being ridiculed.

Above all, I realise that when all else fails - when the world seems to turn its back on you, when you do not seem to escape from being hated just by passing by this temporary destination, that He is all there is - The One and Only that you need.

The world is hopeless. The society is judgmental. The people are being saints.

I'M JUST HAPPY TO BE TOUCHED BY HIM.

This is me, welcoming myself back.

I'M HOME.